This is a collection of short horror stories, none of which are particularly horrific. I wouldn't have reviewed it, except I had a great time coming up with semi-sarcastic news headline titles for all the stories and wanted to share them. So without further ado, here they are.
"Local Boy Retconned Out Of Existence After Making Up Story About Beings That Retcon You Out Of Existence"
"Local Girl Attacked By Pack Of Angry Cats"
"Local Girls Eaten By Stain On Cafeteria Floor"
"Local Boy Becomes Literally Satan"
"Local Girl Accidentally Creates Living Drawing Of Ivy, Kills By Not Bathing For Two Months"
"In Turn Of Events That Shocks Absolutely Nobody, Genie Twists Wish Into Something Nobody Actually Wants"
"Local Boy Wins Race, Subsequently Trapped In School-Crossing Sign"
"Local Teacher Who Is Secretly Witch Yells At Students, Inviting Wrath Of Student Who Is Secretly Witch"
"Local Boy Threatened By Paper Towel Dispenser, Expelled From School"
"Local Man Eaten By Couch"
"Local Boy Dissects Frog, Gives Self Heart Disease Due To Mysterious Curse From Annoyed Classmate"
"Local Girl Crushed To Death In Tragic Roof Collapse After Losing Staring Contest With Magical House"
"Local Boy Attempts To Get Out Of Book Report, Accidentally Curses Self To Be Murdered By Own Shadow"
None of these are actually particularly scary, honestly. I mean, maybe they would be if you were easily scared; like, I wouldn't recommend it to a ten-year-old who hasn't already shown a fondness for light horror. So were this a videogame, I'd rate it: T for being horror.
3 stars. Didn't love this one, but it's not terrible. If you like not-particularly-horrific horror.
(Endnote: Leafless trees still look kinda creepy in monochrome stark white.)
I will take your word for it. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteI'll take your word for the fact that you'll take my word for something in this post. (I'm not sure what "it" you mean).
DeleteSome of my favorites were: "Local Boy Threatened BY Paper Towel Dispenser, Expelled from School" and "Local Man Eaten by Couch" hee hee - Grammy
ReplyDeleteI think my favorites (of the headlines, not the stories) were "Local Girl Attacked By Pack Of Angry Cats" and "Local Boy Threatened By Paper Towel Dispenser, Expelled From School". None of the stories themselves really stood out to me.
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