"Firefly Hollow" by Alison McGhee

This book got me to cry--actually cry--while reading it, for the first time in what, months? A year? I don't even know how long it's been. I think the only other time I've been moved to tears by a work of fiction is |Matthew Cuthbert|'s death in the 1985 movie version of |Anne of Green Gables|.

And this isn't a depressing book. It's not a tragic book, either. It's not even a math textbook. It's more like you took the lid off a jar of raw emotions and are watching sadness and grief and yearning and hope mix around inside.

This is about a firefly and a cricket, aptly named Firefly and Cricket, who've been told all their lives that Giants Are Dangerous and Don't Go Near Giants and Giants Will Just Accidentally Kill You For No Reason. "Giants," of course, being humans. Buuuut they find a sad (|grieving|) human kid, with whom they become friends eventually.

And things happen, culminating in Firefly |trying to fly to the moon, discovering she's too high up to breathe, passing out, and falling out of the sky. She doesn't die, though, due to the heroic efforts of Cricket and that vole on the cover|.

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: E.

4 stars. It's good.

(Endnote: The art in this is completely adorable.)

"Caraval" by Stephanie Garber

Nothing is real, everything everyone tells you is a lie including some of the narration, and there is no war in Ba Sing Se. Now try guessing which one of those is actually true, and which one of those is me lying to you, and which one of those is from Avatar: The Last Airbender, and whether I was lying when I implied there was only one that fit into each category. Also try guessing which opinions below are also lies. Or it could be none of them.

Behold: how this book kinda is. Except nobody warns you that they might be lying. Except that sometimes they do. Except that sometimes they aren't but they want you to think they are. I have no idea what anyone wants in this book.

Everybody dies, and the next two books are about different people. I don't like Julian much because he annoys me. I don't mind Tella because she doesn't really do much. |I like| potato soup. I could sort of like Dante except I don't trust him because he never tells you anything. Scarlett's dad is an alien. Scarlett is fine but I wish she had more of a personality than just "protect sister". Legend isn't real. [REDACTED]. My mom reviewed this, and her review is more coherent. 

 

And the thing is, people keep telling Scarlett it's all just a game. Does she listen? Not really.

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: A stern T15+ for a lot of suggestive content. The book could have done without it, in my opinion. That aside, it would be a decent videogame.

3 stars. Not my new favorite thing, but also not terrible.

 

(Endnote: Did I mention the zombies? Oh, wait, |there aren't any.|)

Mini-Reviews 3: Three is Company

Anyone who guesses what the title is from wins some fake internet points and an imaginary medal that says "Person Who Guessed What The Title Is From."

 

 

The Sky-Liners by Louis L'Amour

It's been a while since I've reviewed a Louis L'Amour book on here. Time to rectify that.

This one is about two brothers, Flagan and Galloway Sackett, who get tasked with escorting a girl from Appalachia to Texas. This is complicated by the fact that a Bad Guy is chasing her to marry her for her money because she's rich, and she's currently nursing a major crush on said Bad Guy because she's unaware that, in addition to being a Guy, he is in fact Bad.

So they do attempt to escort the girl, and have a bunch of run-ins with the Bad Guy and his gang of assorted ne'er-do-wells along the way. And they meet up with Cap Rountree (one of the "other cool people" that I mentioned in my review of The Daybreakers) along the way, too, which was fun. I do like how random characters with their own Louis L'Amour books pop up in different ones.

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: T for western violence and (I think) some bad language.

4 stars. This was decent.

Tags for this one: 4-star, adventure, Louis L'Amour, rated T, Western

Onyeka and the Academy of the Sun by Tolá Okogwu

 

Academy of Sun not actually on sun. Disappointed. DNF.

Videogame: IDK, didn't finish.

Stars: Insufficient data for meaningful answer.

Tags for this one: Modern setting, DNF'd

Changers no. 1: The Gathering Storm by H. K. Varian

 

It's about kids who can turn into mythological animals with superpowers.

 

I think that had I first discovered this series when I was like 11, it would have been my new favorite thing. However, I'm not 11, and this is too far below my general reading level nowadays for me to get as much enjoyment out of it as I would have back then.

That's not to say it's bad; it's just not my style anymore.

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: A soft E10+ for mild fantasy violence. This could make a decent videogame.

3 stars.

Tags for this one: 3-star, rated E10+, modern setting, urban fantasy

(Endnote: The names and surnames in Onyeka and the Academy of the Sun all have like five diacritics apiece. I get that it's foreign and all, but that's too many.)

"City Spies: Mission Manhattan" by James Ponti

This one is both good and lame at the same time. On the one hand, it involves climate change activism, which... c'mon. Nobody you're complaining at is actually causing the problem anymore. On the other hand, the team does get a chance to shine on their own for once, as their handlers are all unable to do any handling. 

And they do acquit themselves well. There's a fairly significant time gap between when I read this and when I'm reviewing it, so I don't remember what all they did, but most of it was cool. (The rest was mostly dogfish-jumping, which is like shark-jumping but less egregious; it's the only slightly unbelievable things.)

 

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: E10+, probably, just because that's what I gave all the other ones.

3 stars. we did not need the climate change complaining.

Favorite lines:

    "Okay, I'm at a computer," he relayed to Brooklyn. "What do you want me to do? Hack the motherboard? Override the password?"

    "Those aren't even things," Brooklyn replied.

    Page 54.

    "You cracked the eggs." Rio turned to the others. "I think he did a good job, don't you?"

    "Oh yes. The eggs taste particularly well cracked," Kat said dryly.

    Page 68. An example of why Kat is my favorite character.

(Endnote: This is Book 5, not Book 0, so I can no longer say I've read the entire series in reverse order.)

"Ender's Game" by Orson Scott Card

I... I think I might have to give this 5 stars. Sometimes a "modern classic" gets called that for a reason.

I just opened with the star rating, and that should probably tell you something about how mixed up my brain is right now. Book hangover will do a number on you, man.

Yes, this is a book about improbably smart and competent kids. However, the book acknowledges that these kids are improbably smart and competent, and that the entire point of everything the adults are doing is to make them even more improbably smart and competent. So they can go fight aliens.

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: T15+ for swearing and graphic violence. It's a YA book (I think? It's in the YA section at the library, at least) and thus is afforded more leniency than middle-grade things. This would probably make a good videogame.

 

We're not done with the review yet. Ordinarily I'd go back and rearrange all this, but I'm not doing that for this review because this better represents how my thoughts went when I first finished this.

 

The |twist at the end| (it's |fairly famous, but I'm still not going to spoil it|) hit me quite hard, and I even |vaguely knew it was there|. I think part of that is because it hit Ender hard as well, and you empathize with him a lot. I did, at least.

This book has spawned a lot of imitators, due to being a "modern classic" (as the literary analysis people say). I've read some of them; they're occasionally good and occasionally lame. I can see why it did spawn them, though; it's a good story arc, and one that I can see people going "i could write my own version of that and it would be so cool!" about.

(Endnote: Despite some people complaining the cover in the picture is "lame" [their words, not mine], it's actually one of the best covers out there for this book.)

"M Is for Magic" by Neil Gaiman

This is a collection of ten short stories in various genres, plus one poem. Some of them I liked; some of them I didn't really. My favorites, in roughly this order, were:

"The Case of the Four and Twenty Blackbirds," about private detective Jack Horner investigating the death of Humpty Dumpty. This one's full of random nursery rhyme characters that pop up at unexpected moments, and it's also hardboiled detective fiction. That doesn't sound like it would work, but it does.

"The Witch's Headstone," which is just basically chapter 4 (I think it's 4, anyway) of The Graveyard Book. This collection was published a year before The Graveyard Book, though, which makes me think it must have made a lot less sense to people who read this when it originally came out.

"Instructions," the poem, about what to do if you find yourself in a fairy tale. Also, it has a reference to the next one,

"October in the Chair," where personifications of the twelve months get together and tell stories. The main story-within-a-story in this one, October's, is honestly rather scary; not because it tells you what's going on, but because it doesn't.

Also, honorable mention to "Chivalry," about an old lady who buys the Holy Grail for 30 pence at a thrift store and then meets a somewhat hapless but rather nice Sir Galahad who keeps trying to trade her various other mythological objects for it.

Were this a videogame (maybe a collection of minigames?), I'd rate it: T15+ for sexual references.

4 stars. I liked it fairly well, and unlike some other things (coughItWasn'tMecough) (coughRiley'sGhostcough), it's got a YA content level while also being YA.

Favorite lines:

    "I see that you are all looking at me doubtfully. Gentlemen, consider: of course the ancient Egyptians made beer cans; where else would they have kept their beer?"

    Page 188. It's in "Sunbird," about a group of people called the Epicurean Club whose mission is to eat everything that's even remotely somewhat edible.

(Endnote: I think this collection has horror, detective fiction, sci-fi-ish, fantasy, con artistry, and magical realism [?]. I'm honestly not sure what genre "How to Talk to Girls at Parties" should be.)

"York" trilogy by Laura Ruby

Book One: The Shadow Cipher

This looks steampunk, but it isn't steampunk. It's more like National Treasure (2004), in that there's a bunch of clues hidden in old stuff to find a secret treasure that nobody thinks exists except some random weird people. But with kids, because this is middle-grade-ish fiction.

I call it "middle-grade-ish fiction" because it is 476 pages long, too long for junior fiction, but it's shelved in the kids' section at the library (making it not YA) and it's cleaner than much of the middle-grade fiction I've been reading.

(Ew, I just realized that the average cleanliness for middle-grade fiction is way worse than it should be.)

 

The main characters, Tess and Theo, are treasure hunting because (they think) if they prove the secret treasure exists, they can save the building they live in from being demolished. |Except they don't find the treasure in this one. Instead, they end up unleashing a bunch of robotic moths that blow up the building they're trying to save|.

Videogame and star ratings for this book as an individual: E10+, 4.

Book Two: The Clockwork Ghost

There is no actual ghost here. There is clockwork, though; the main characters have to |stop the giant clock in not-Grand-Central-Station for one of the clues|. Except they end up |releasing a bunch of robots|. Again.

This one is basically like if the author said, "I see you read The Shadow Cipher. Do you want another The Shadow Cipher?" Which was fine, because I did actually want another The Shadow Cipher. This does mean I don't really have much to say about it, though.

There is one new character who was quite funny: Ono, the tiny Rubik's-cube-sized robot. He's named Ono because he can say exactly two things: "Oh no" and "To the land of kings" (well, he can drop words from the second one, making things like "Land of kings" or just "Kings"). Also, he occasionally does helpful transformation-y things like turning into a ladder.

While this is the middle book in a trilogy, it's not the one where everything goes all terrible. I was glad of that.

Videogame and star ratings for this book as an individual: E10+, 4.

Book Three: The Map of Stars

That gave me a sense of impending lameness, and then it was fine, and then it was confusing. 

 

It involves |time travel, and possibly parallel universes? I'm not actually sure. As I said, it was confusing. I did like the hints that Tess and Theo traveled back in time to set the whole clue thing up for themselves; it made the first two books a lot more believable with their "we keep finding all the clues first try and never run into dead ends or tangents"|. Although they are just hints, if strong ones; we never get anything definite.

And I'm honestly not sure what the title is referring to. Maybe I missed that part?

Also, |I don't know if the treasure actually exists, but I don't think so. They never find it, anyway|. The last third-ish was confusing. If you've read these and understood that bit, please tell me what's going on, because I don't know.

Videogame and star ratings for this book as an individual: E10+, 3.

Overall, this series gets 4 stars.

Were it a videogame, I'd rate the series: E10+ for tense scenes. This would actually make a pretty good puzzle game.

(Endnote: In case you couldn't tell, this is set in an alternate version of New York City.)

Mini-Reviews 2: This is getting out of hand, now there are two of them!

Yeah, I did more of these.

Emblem Island: Curse of the Night Witch by Alex Aster

Thiiiiiiiiiiiiis... wasn't super great. The author's bio at the end said she wanted to include a Latin American flavor, and I can definitely taste that. It's got all sorts of strange monsters and things, and it's interspersed with folktale-y bits that are like "So these two people fell in love but one of them was a jerkface, and then stuff happened, and that's why this kind of monster exists."

Don't have much else to say about it, which is why this is a mini-review.

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: E10+ for just general content level. It'd be decent as a videogame, because it's partially written like one. 

3 stars.

Tags for this one: 3-star, fantasy, rated E10+

A Natural History of Dragons: A Memoir by Lady Trent by Marie Brennan

 

For having no plot, the first few chapters of this book are surprisingly engaging. I think its being written in the style of a memoir helps; the author (or at least her character) has a very conversational voice.

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: T15+ for some sexual references, in terms a Regency/Victorian-era naturalist would use. Nothing explicit.

4 stars. This one is good. I liked it quite a lot.

Tags for this one: 4-star, adventure, alternate-base fantasy, fantasy, rated T15+, series component

It Wasn't Me by Dana Alison Levy 

The cover of this is clearly meant to evoke One of Us is Lying (warning: link has spoilers), and I think it's essentially trying to be the middle-grade version of that. Except it forgot to take the content level down to match, so we're left with middle-schoolers being way too mature for their age.

I mean, seriously, these guys are like twelve! Not old enough for this. Ew.

 

I did like Alice the one who gave herself morbid makeup every day, though. She was the Jessica for this. (I know she's actually nothing like Jessica from the Mr. Terupt series; I'm using that term to mean the one character whose perspective I always like to read.)

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: T15+ for sexual references {T15+ (mostly homosexuality getting mentioned)}, some swearing (I think), and... actually that's pretty much it.

Relatedly, 1 star. If you ever see me reading this again, that person is an impostor and doesn't read this blog.

(Endnote: I've never actually read One of Us is Lying, nor do I plan to. Its title is good, though, I'll give it that.)

"A Pocket Full of Murder" by R. J. Anderson

I was first introduced to this by Kittens, whose taste in books somewhat differs from mine.

This one is about a girl whose dad gets arrested (wrongly) for murdering a guy, so she goes on a giant investigation/mission/quest/thing to prove his innocence by finding out who did murder the guy.

Its worldbuilding is quite good. It's a fantasy book, but instead of being medieval Europe with fantasy elements, it's more like late Victorian Europe with fantasy elements. (Or possibly late Victorian America? I'm not sure.) So, there aren't really any wizards or magic-users around, replaced with people having figured out how to do "Common Magic" themselves via baking.

I've also read the sequel, A Little Taste of Poison, which focuses much more on "Sagery": basically the same as Common Magic, but more jewelcrafting instead of baking. (Many of the book's nobles would be very mad at me for saying Sagery is basically the same as Common Magic, but IT'S TRUE, FOLKS.) Sagery does factor into this one, but it's explained less.

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: E10+ for intense situations and themes of religious persecution (it's clearly based on historical anti-Semitism, and is portrayed as a bad thing). This would make a decent open-world game. (I say open-world because the only other city-based games I know of, the Grand Theft Auto series, also get labeled open-world. This is much tamer than GTA, as is pretty much every piece of media I consume.)

(To assuage any fears people may have, no, I haven't played Grand Theft Auto. Nor, in all likelihood, will I ever do so.)

4 stars. 

(Endnote: A Little Taste of Poison is a good sequel, in that it explains things that would have been obvious if you'd read this one.)

"Ice Wolves" by Amie Kaufman

(The cover image keeps breaking and only sometimes works, and nothing I do seems to fix it. Sorry for the inconvenience. Clicking it only helps occasionally.)

 

|I don't know about you,| but |I think this book was lame.| Therefore, |it's lame, because I think it is.|

|In all seriousness, this book is super lame. Its one redeeming quality was the overwhelming prevalance of| pumpernickel |in the story. Except that I read the author bio, and| according to |it, Kaufman actually spammed pumpernickel everywhere because she's a| potato |bread rights activist. Apparently wanted to show that a completely pumpernickel-based bakery would be a bad idea. But she failed at that, because this was actually the one bright spot of the book.|

|Also, can we talk about| Brian |for a moment? Ew, no. Let's not|.

|There's also a bunch of other annoying stuff, but Brian is the worst despite his nonexistence, and I'm running out of time to write this before it's the 2nd. Because you know what day it is when I'm writing this.|

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: QL-37 for violins, excessive meme content, and graphic artichokes.

√2+3i stars, and one black hole for flavor.

(Endnote: C#)