"The Wee Free Men" by Terry Pratchett

Plot summary: Nine-year-old Tiffany Aching's little brother has been kidnapped by elves (Discworld elves are extradimensional jerkfaces who go around pillaging other dimensions for interesting things). So, armed with a frying pan, and with the assistance of the titular Wee Free Men / the Nac Mac Feegle, a race of violent fairy people who like stealing things and fighting and talk in practically incomprehensible Scottish accents, Tiffany goes to rescue her brother.

I think the best description of Discworld elves is actually from Lords and Ladies (probably the review after this one), and it is:

 

 Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.

 Elves are marvelous. They cause marvels.

 Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.

 Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.

 Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.

 Elves are terrific. They beget terror.

 The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

 No one ever said elves are nice.

 Elves are bad. 

 

So... yeah. Discworld elves are rather a bad thing to have around. There's more lore about them, but I'll cover that in the Lords and Ladies review.

 

This is book 1 of the Tiffany Aching Discworld subseries. I'm counting it as a separate series in my list because her books are written for YA instead.

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: E10+ for essentially a milder version of typical Discworld content. This could actually be a pretty good videogame; it's linear enough, and has a clear main character for the player to be.

4 stars.

 

Favorite lines:

    "Do you think you could, er, borrow some fine cloth?"

    "Nay, mistress, but I ken well where I can steal some,"

    Page 181.

 

    [The following quotes have been de-Scottish-accent-ified because the original had to be read rather phonetically.]

    "They can take our lives but they cannot take our trousers!"

    "You take the high road and I'll take your wallet!"

    "There can only be one thousand!"

    Page 193.

(Endnote: Much of Tiffany Aching's being-good-at-this comes from her keeping her head in a crisis, being observant and stubborn, and whacking things with a frying pan.)