Plot summary: There have been some murders in Ankh-Morpork. In and of itself this isn't so weird, except that nobody can tell why the murders happened. Also, someone is somehow poisoning Lord Vetinari. Watch Commander Sam Vimes approves of neither of these, and sets out at the head of the newly post-Men at Arms Watch to figure out whodunit. Also there are golems involved.
The titles of Discworld books are sometimes references. This is the Book of Daniel, Reaper Man is apparently a movie reference, Going Postal is an idiom of some sort, Wyrd Sisters is Macbeth, and Carpe Jugulum is the Carpe Diem idiom. There's probably others, but I don't recognize them.
I think Discworld golems may be related to tortoises, Because They Both Talk In Capital Letters.
Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: T15+ for crude humor and swearing. This would actually probably make a pretty good videogame; it has a main character (Sam Vimes) and a fairly straightforward plot.
Favorite lines:
"...I want someone who can look at the ashtray and tell me what kind of cigars I smoke."
"Pantweed's Slim Panatellas," said Littlebottom automatically.
"Good gods!"
"You've left the packet on the table, sir."
Page 23. (For context, Vimes is interviewing a prospective forensic alchemist.)
"Right you are, Captain Carrot!" said the dwarf baker. "C'mon, lads! Let's hang 'em up by the bur-a'zak-ka!!!"*
"Ooo," murmured the weak of heart, damply.
"Now, now, Mr. Ironcrust," said Carrot patiently. "We don't practice that punishment in Ankh-Morpork."†
*Town hall.
† Because Ankh-Morpork doesn't have a town hall.
Page 37.
The Thieves' Guild was complaining that Commander Vimes had said publicly that most thefts were committed by thieves.
Page 142.
Appearances of Death count: 21.
(Endnote: The "feet of clay" thing is also a pun here, as one of the Clues in the book is smudged clay footprints.)
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