"Moving Pictures" by Terry Pratchett

Plot summary: The eldritch menace known as Hollywood Holy Wood has come to the Discworld. A young student wizard named Victor Tugelbend runs off to become a movie star, eldritch weirdness ensues, and he ends up saving the world. Probably.

This one would probably be absolutely hilarious to classic Hollywood fans, just like Soul Music is probably hilarious to classic rock fans. I think my mom would like it.

This seems to be the first appearance of many of the wizards we know and like, including Archchancellor Ridcully, Ponder Stibbons, and (possibly) the Bursar, although he seems a lot saner here than he is in later books, so I'm not sure if it's the same person.

 

I probably should have watched Gone with the Wind before reading this, as the final movie shown ("Blown Away") is almost certainly a parody of it.

 

Were this a videogame, I'd rate it: T15+ for crude humor and swearing. This could be a decent videogame, though I can't figure out what format.

 

4 stars.

Favorite lines:

    "...a few twenty-mile runs and the Dean'd be a different man."

    "Well, yes," said the Bursar. "He'd be dead."

    "He'd be healthy."

    "Yes, but still dead."

    Page 23.

    In a sense which his tutors couldn't quite define, much to their annoyance, Victor Tugelbend was also the laziest person in the history of the world.

    Not simply, ordinarily lazy. Ordinary laziness was merely the absence of effort. Victor had passed through there a long time ago, had gone straight through commonplace idleness and out on the far side. He put more effort into avoiding work than most people put into hard labor.

    Page 27.

    "How can you make anyone into a star?"

    "I dunno. I suppose you compress them right up small and they burst into this mass of flaming hydrogen?"

    Page 83.

    "If you cut me, do I not bleed?" said Rock.

    "No, you don't," said Soll.

    Page 159. Rock is a troll, and Discworld trolls are made of stone.

(Endnote: You know how Lovecraft has the Necronomicon, or roughly "book of the dead"? The Discworld's equivalent is the Necrotelicomnicon, or roughly "phone book of the dead".)